


You Were My New Dream

by Deannachu



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Death, Heartbreak, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-11
Updated: 2014-05-11
Packaged: 2018-01-24 10:12:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1601108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deannachu/pseuds/Deannachu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael has been in a terrible car accident and Gavin gets the news.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first Mavin fic, and I'm quite proud of it. Let me know what you think. x

There’s been an accident.

Gavin’s heart stopped with those four words. He quickly threw down his controller and grabbed his coat, fleeing from the Achievement Hunter office without a word to the others. The worst-case scenarios began flipping through his mind like a picture book, each more devastating than the last.

His heart beat so quickly and so violently he thought it might fly from his chest.

“No, no, no,” he kept repeating, speeding the whole way to the hospital. He ran red lights and stop signs, narrowly missing cars that had the right of way. He didn’t give a shit if he led a high speed pursuit all the way to the hospital, he had to get there. Michael was there. His whole world was currently lying in a hospital bed.

He pulled into the parking lot and rushed from the vehicle to the front doors. He dashed to the counter and, out of breath, managed a, “Michael Jones.” The nurse behind the counter tapped away on her computer, her brow furrowed as she searched. As Gavin waited those brutal seconds for Michael’s information to come up, he saw the sympathy that began flooding her eyes and face and the pity when she finally looked at him.

“He’s in critical condition and the doctors are doing everything they can for him,” she said kindly, reaching out to brush his arm.

Gavin felt faint, the blood rushing from his face within a matter or moments. “What…what happened?” he finally whispered.

“There was a drunk driver. Mr. Jones stopped at a stop sign and when he finally stepped on the gas the other driver came from his side and ran into him. Direct impact with the driver’s side of the vehicle.”

The room started spinning violently and Gavin stumbled to a seat in the waiting room. His hands shook as he covered his face. Tears slowly ran between his fingers and down his cheeks, getting caught in his beard. As he sobbed, his mind drifted to three days ago, when he and Michael had a date night.

“When you came to this country, did you expect to fall in love with a foul-mouthed American?” teased Michael, cuddled against Gavin’s chest. Gavin smiled, planting a small kiss on his boyfriend’s messy head.

“Not at all, but I guess it was an underlying hope of mine. A dream, I suppose,” he replied. “I knew in my heart that the person I was meant to be with wasn’t in the UK or even on that side of the world. When my journey led me here – to Rooster Teeth, to you – I knew.”

Although he couldn’t see Michael’s face, he knew he was grinning from ear to ear; one of those genuine smiles that he only gave to Gavin. Michael sat up suddenly and faced him, gathering his hands in his own.

“I knew that I wasn’t going anywhere when I lived in New Jersey. When I had the opportunity to work for Rooster Teeth, it just felt right. It felt like it was where I needed to be, even though I didn’t really know why that was. I do now. My dream was to make people laugh with my videos and be able to go to bed knowing that I had made someone’s day, whether it be in this country or one across the sea.” Michael pulled Gavin closer, so close that if Gavin leaned in just an inch they would be kissing.

“I love you,” Gavin whispered, staring into Michael’s eyes. The corner of Michael’s lips turned up ever so slightly.

“And I love you,” he responded, finally closing in the gap between the two lovers. Nothing else mattered in that moment. Nothing else existed. It was just Gavin and Michael, two people who loved each other with every fiber of their being. Nothing could tear them apart.

Breaking free from the memory, Gavin sobbed harder into his hands. His eyes stung and his cheeks became swollen and tender from the salty tears. He couldn’t lose Michael; if he lost him he would lose a piece of himself that he would never be able to get back.

He felt someone sit beside him and glanced over. It was a little girl, no more than five or six years old. She had dark blonde hair, freckles, and glasses. She was staring at him with a mixture of curiosity and concern. She held a Rapunzel doll in both hands. It was worn from being played with so many times.

“Are you okay?” she asked, her high voice like glass to his ears. Gavin wiped his face even as stray tears kept falling.

“No, I’m not,” he answered honestly. He felt broken already just from having sobbed for so long.

“What’s wrong?” she questioned.

“My boy—my friend,” he said quickly, “my friend is in here and he’s not doing so well.” Her little brow furrowed as she processed what he said. She was still for a moment before handing him her doll. He politely waved it away. “No thanks, love, I don’t really need it. But thanks for the offer.” He braved a small smile for the girl.

She seemed upset for a brief moment before smiling at him and running back to her corner of the waiting room.

At that moment the doors opened and the doctor came out, face mask around his neck. He searched the room until his eyes landed on Gavin. With a somber look he walked to where he was sitting and took a seat beside him.

Gavin knew what he was going to say.

“I’m sorry, we’ve done all we could, but his injuries are just too extensive. He hasn’t got long.”

With each word spoken, Gavin broke a little more. “Can I…” he cleared his throat, his voice attempting to break, “see him?”

The doctor nodded and put a hand on his shoulder. “He’s been asking for you. I assume you’re Gavin?” He nodded. “Right this way. I must warn you now: he’s attached to a lot of machinery but we’ve made him as comfortable as we could. I can’t give you an exact amount of time, but just know it won’t be long. I’m very sorry.” The tears started up before they even reached the room. He stopped just outside of it and tried to compose himself so that he wouldn’t add anymore burden to his love.

He heard the beeping before he saw the machines. Michael laying in the hospital bed, bandaged and broken, made Gavin sob even more. Michael smiled at him from his bed, even though it pained him to do so. “When I imagined this moment, I imagined us old and wrinkly,” he joked weakly, rasping his words.

Gavin laughed and then cried harder, sitting in the chair by Michael’s side. He gathered his left hand and planted kisses on each knuckle. “You’re gonna be okay,” he said, mostly for his own benefit. He wanted to believe in his heart that Michael was going to make it. That he wasn’t…

“Don’t lie to yourself, Gav,” Michael said softly. He lifted his hand out of Gavin’s grasp and stroked his cheek.

“Th-th-this isn’t f-f-fair,” he sobbed. “We were going to have this w-w-whole life together. You and me. Team Nice Dynamite.”

“I guess we just won’t be lucky enough to have a fair life,” whispered Michael, his voice getting weaker.

“How will I go on without you?”

“You’re a strong, sensible person, Gav; it’s one of the many things I love about you.”

Gavin sat there, his sniffling piercing the short silence that followed. The heart machine began to pick up, Michael’s heart beats coming faster. He held his hand tightly to his cheek, then leaned and placed a kiss on Michael’s lips for the last time.

“Gavin. There’s one more thing.”

“What is it, love?”

“Gavin… you were my new dream.” Michael smiled at his boyfriend for the last time.

“…and you were mine,” Gavin sobbed. The monitor flat-lined. Michael was gone. His whole world was no longer there and he knew he would never be the same person ever again. Michael was his other half; without him, he was broken.

He laid his head on Michael’s stomach and cried and cried and cried until he felt like screaming. He wanted to die, too. How was he to live without Michael? Life didn’t make sense anymore.

Little footsteps made him look up, and there was the same girl with the same doll. She silently walked over and put the doll by his arms on the bed. She wrapped herself around him in a hug and then left the room. He picked up the doll and stared at it for a moment before angrily throwing it against the wall. He laid his head back down and continued to sob, even while Rapunzel sang to him.

Heal what has been hurt,  
Change the fates design,  
Save what has been lost,  
Bring back what once was mine,  
What once was mine.


	2. One Year Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set one year after YWMND, Gavin (and the others) visit Michael's grave.

It had been a year since Michael passed away, and Gavin was still in the slow, painful healing process. It had taken him six months to get to the point where he could come to work and not start crying at the sight of Michael’s empty desk. It had been set up as a kind of memorial to him, with notes and gifts and pictures of Michael strewn all across it. No one touched it.

          He couldn’t stand to live in the same apartment anymore without being reminded of Michael, so he moved back in with Geoff, Griffon, and Millie for the time being. He still slept in or with one of Michael’s shirts every night and it took a lot of prodding and soft words from Griffon or Geoff to get him out of bed every morning.

          Geoff contemplated taking him to the doctor and getting antidepressants for the poor man, but he knew that the depression was from the aftermath of Michael’s death. Gavin’s sadness had been affecting his work, but no one seemed to mind. They were all mourning the death of one of their own; even Lindsay was sometimes caught in the office, staring at the desk of her best friend with tears in her eyes.

          The people at work would do nice things for Gavin and speak kindly to him every day, not wanting him to break down like he did for the first few months after. He never went to the bar anymore, choosing instead to drink in the confines of Geoff’s home. It wasn’t a rare sight to find Gavin passed out on the couch, the TV flickering with some random show, beer bottles strewn across the coffee table late at night.

          He started getting nightmares that became a frequent occurrence, turning him into an insomniac almost overnight. He would come to work with dark circles under his eyes, falling asleep during some of the Let’s Plays and not being his active self during the weekly updates. The YouTube comments were supportive of Gavin, everyone having known about Michael’s passing.

          When the week before the one year anniversary of Michael’s passing came around, Gavin became slightly more emotional than normal. Ryan, a fairly new hire in the office, seemed to sense this change. He always had a box of Kleenex in his hand seconds before Gavin burst into tears, or got up to lead the Brit from the room moments before he collapsed into a pile on the ground. Ryan became his rock, the person he would rely on when he felt down.

          “It doesn’t seem like a year yet,” whispered Gavin one afternoon to the occupants of the office. There was a solemn silence as they took in his words. “I keep thinking he’s going to walk through the door.” Fresh tears rolled down his cheeks as he stared at his own desk, the Xbox controller he was holding laid forgotten off to the side.

          “I know what you mean,” murmured Ray, who had been almost as close to Michael as Gavin had, having known him the longest. “I catch myself reaching for my phone to call him sometimes and then I remember.”

          “I rewatch old weekly updates and Let’s Plays just to see him or hear his voice,” Geoff said quietly, taking off his headphones. Jack was silent but Gavin heard the faint sniffling into the microphone.

          “I know I never met him,” said Ryan, “but I feel like I lost him too. Hearing all of your stories and seeing how much pain you guys are in… it makes me sad.” The Things to Do they were filming was now forgotten as the men reminisced in silence.

          “I’m going to visit his grave this weekend,” Gavin mumbled, mostly to himself. His hands started shaking as he reached for the stuffed Banjo Kazooie bear that a fan had given Michael. “Would… would you all like to come?”

          He heard the faint squeak of a chair as someone got up, and felt a warm embrace circle him. It was Geoff. “I would love to go to Michael’s grave. You don’t have to face this alone, Gav. We’re all here for you.”

          “Achievement Hunters stick together,” Ray said, smiling without it touching his eyes. “I want to leave something at it anyway. As a way to say goodbye.” The smile was gone as he averted his eyes, removing his glasses and wiping at them.

          “Thanks guys,” Gavin whispered, holding the stuffed bear to his chest. He knew what he was going to leave by the headstone but he didn’t want to go alone. He didn’t want it to be like the day it happened, where he sobbed by Michael’s body until the nurses came and asked if there was anyone they could call, if there was anything they could do.

          They wrapped things up early that day, as the gang were too upset to continue filming.

\--

          Gavin woke up that next Saturday with what felt like an elephant on his chest. He knew it was early, he knew what day it was, and he knew that he was not okay. He spent months building up an emotional barrier to try and deal with the emotions from the aftermath. He spent months repeatedly reassuring himself that he was strong and that he could glance at Michael’s empty desk without breaking down on the floor. It took months, but he got to the point where he wouldn’t cry at the sight; he would cry at other things, like rewatching old videos or looking at pictures that the pair took together.

          His eyes burned as he already began to cry into his pillow. There was a soft knock on his door. “C-come in,” he wailed.

          The door opened and instead of Griffon it was Millie who came inside. She was still in her pajamas and the look she gave Gavin broke his heart even more. She knew he was sad, and she knew why. She shut his door and crawled in beside him, cuddling her tiny body against his.

          “Please don’t cry, Gavin,” her tiny voice said against his chest. “It’ll be okay. I’m sure Michael’s looking down on you every day and I know he wouldn’t want you to be upset.” She reached up a small hand to catch his tears and he sniffed, pulling her into a hug.

          “I’m just really sad, Millie. I miss him a lot.”

          “Mom and Dad do too. I go into their bedroom sometimes and see them crying when they hug each other. I’ve heard them talk about Michael too, while they’re making dinner. We all miss him, Gavvy. You’re not alone.” She leaned up to kiss his scratchy cheek. He smiled at the tiny gesture.

          “Thanks, Millie. I love you.” She smiled.

          “I love you too, Gav.” She got out of bed and exited the room, leaving Gavin in the dark once more. He stared up at his ceiling.

          “I miss you, Michael,” he whispered, tears falling once more as he got up and shuffled about, picking out what he was going to wear. He settled on a tshirt Michael got for him last year with a picture of Banjo on it. Michael has – _had_ – a matching one, except it had Gavin’s Minecraft Creeper character on it.

          After he showered he put on the shirt along with jeans and shoes and stared in the mirror. He had lost weight from crying so much and the depression, so his face had lost a bit of the happiness it had before. His eyes had almost permanent dark circles under them and they seemed to always be tinged with redness from crying.

          He grabbed a small box from inside his dresser and headed to the living room to meet Geoff. Geoff was dressed up nicely and had a small bouquet of flowers in his hands, presumably to place on the grave. He looked like he had been crying, too.

          “Ready?” he asked when Gavin entered. He nodded, hugging Griffon and Millie before heading out the door. They would meet the others at the site. The whole ride there was silent, as they didn’t even bother to turn on the radio. Both men were lost in their thoughts about what they were going to do and where they were going.

          When they reached the cemetery, they saw the other three waiting by their separate vehicles. Each face was solemn and each had something in their hand to place on the grave. They walked in silence to it, Gavin’s heart becoming fuller the closer they got. He was a powerhouse for emotion at that moment and he could already feel the tears threatening to spill out of him. Ryan reached over and squeezed his arm, sending a small smile his way.

          He saw it up ahead, the gravestone that marked the place where his love was buried.

**Here lies**

**Michael Vincent Jones**

**Beloved brother, son, and friend.**

          Gavin stopped just short of it, tempted to turn around and flee back to the car. The knot in his stomach grew tighter and more profound with each passing moment. “Breathe, Gavin,” said Ryan, rubbing his back and fanning the air around him to give him some air.

          “’M fine,” he muttered, regaining control. The rest of the group were circled around the grave, each taking a turn to lay something and say a few words.

          Ray laid down a pixelated Minecraft rose. “I miss you, man. Not a day goes by that I don’t watch one of our videos or remember the good times we had. You made such a lasting impact on my life and I will never forget you. I love you Michael.”

          Geoff laid down the flowers and a picture of him and Michael from when Michael first became an Achievement Hunter. He was quiet for a few moments. “You’re like a son to me, Michael. You always were. One of the best decisions I made was hiring you. Your videos still make me smile even when all I want to do is cry while watching them. I hope you’re making God laugh up there. I miss you and love you, as do Griffon and Millie.”

          Jack laid down Michael’s custom Xbox controller that he had made, much to everyone’s surprise. “I’m sure you’re kicking angel butt up there at some kind of game, Michael. I miss you, as does Caiti, and will always love you, my friend.”

          Ryan laid down another bouquet of flowers and said a few words, not having known him.

          Finally it was Gavin’s turn. The others walked a little ways to give him some space. Had had started crying during Geoff’s speech and he couldn’t seem to stop. “I love and miss you, boi. I miss the times we had together and the little things we would do for one another just to cheer each other up. I miss your kisses and your hugs, the way you would rage during video games. I miss the way you would film little activities like making coffee or going to different stores. I miss waking up to you every morning.” He looked at the ground, at the headstone and at all the gifts surrounding it.

          “More importantly I miss that I never got the chance to ask you to marry me,” he said, pulling the box from his pocket. Inside was the diamond engagement ring he bought over a year ago. He had planned to propose to Michael the month he died. He spent time planning how he would do it, setting it up. No one knew, not even Geoff. The day Michael died, Gavin was going to plan a dinner for that weekend where he would get down on one knee and ask the love of his life to marry him.

          He was sobbing now, staring at the box in his hands. He placed it carefully in the center of the headstone, hands shaking as he did so. He stood back up and wrapped his arms around himself for comfort, not being able to speak anymore. Geoff had come back then and pulled the younger man to him, saying nothing.

          After standing a little while longer (everyone had tears in their eyes at that point) they silently began to leave, Geoff and Gavin being the last.

          “I’m sorry that you never got to ask,” Geoff said quietly, leading the Brit away from the grave.

          “Yeah,” he said, leaning against Geoff for support. “Me too.”


End file.
